To learn it is okay to try new things and make big decisions, while feeling scared to do so.

Knowing it is okay to take on a new adventure while having fear of letting go of the past and present can be an extremely difficult choice but once it's made, you know it is right for yourself.

To move on with your life and feel good about it can be such a difficult aspect to accept and appreciate for yourself. Allowing to give yourself the love you deserve and create the lifestyle you crave can only happen if you make changes. A healthy lifestyle comes with following your dreams and creating a healthy mindset for yourself. I am someone who has always struggled with putting myself before others, I have always seen everyone around me, especially loved ones as "more important" than myself. Yes everyone is important, yes all lives matter, and yes everyone should get the life they deserve. But that being said, every choice you make should be based on whether or not it will be beneficial towards yourself. The past three years since I have graduated high school have been definitely an experience. I had good and bad days but nothing ever felt certain, or as if it was what I was supposed to be doing. The type of lifestyle I had put together wasn't the healthiest. I was out drinking and partying whenever I could with my friends and sometimes just a group of people I would call my "party friends." I was working as much as possible, creating myself out of pure exhaustion, not exercising enough, and always giving myself to much time alone locked in my bedroom. Things had to change. When you have too much time to yourself sometimes it can really affect you in a negative way, creating an unhealthy mental state. My parents always told me I spent too much time in my room but I didn't start to listen to them till recently and I wish I had done so sooner. I always thought I was one for wanting to keep to myself and have my own space but I am far from that. Yes at certain times I like being by myself but I have also learned my mental health truly depends on my social life and being around my true friends and of course, family. I won't go into detail about my friends but my god, I appreciate them so much. Throughout quarantine it really had you thinking about how your lifestyle was before and what changes you wanted to make to better yourself, yet also it really made you realize who your real friends were and the ones who want to keep you in their lives as well. I was probably the happiest I had been in a while this past month, August of 2020. I couldn't believe the amount of things I could still do that were safe and didn't just have to do with drinking and going to the bars 24/7. I found out who my real friends were and I was truly proud of myself for the big decision I had made about going to school in Nova Scotia and couldn't believe how real it was becoming. My heart was so incredibly happy and I couldn't have done it without these people in my life. I had this feeling in the back of my head that I was going to regret leaving everything behind.. but now that I am here and I experienced those last few weeks of pure love, I couldn't be more pleased and excited for what is about to come for myself. I know my family will be there when I go back to visit, and I now know which of my friends will be there as well and that puts me at such ease. I know they are all happy for me just as I am finally happy for myself.

I can't even put into words how grateful I am for finally putting myself first and making a huge decision on my own to benefit myself. I have always loved the water and having family out here in the East Coast and knowing my parents were from here, made my choice that much easier.

Am I afraid to not be around as many familiar people? Yes of course. Am I afraid to be starting school again after three years away from it? Yes of course. Am I afraid to be in a big city I am fairly unfamiliar with? Yes of course. Am I going to let that affect my time and journey here? No, of course not. I have always lived out of fear just sitting in the back of my head. It used to affect if I would go to the front of the class during dance, if I would speak up in front of someone if I knew the were wrong about something, and the worst of all was stoping myself from being first. I am not doing that anymore. I come first now just as you should come first to yourself as well. We are going to learn eventually and yes it could take up to twenty, forty, or sixty years of your life. But that does not matter. Lean to accept yourself and learn to love yourself most.

So please; Eyes Open, Mind Open, Heart Open.

Put yourself first and create your own happy, healthy journey.

~Sydiej